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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,575

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Going viral on X:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Going viral on Messenger:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Just landed via Facebook:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Just shared via Reddit:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Going viral on Reddit:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Seen just now on TikTok:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

271 Funny night quotes

More funny night quotes 👇

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

2 weeks ago

believe, celebration, disappointment, frustration, happy, humor, late, late night, new, new year, night, party, shit, year
Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

2 weeks ago

alone, alone time, freedom, fun, getting, house, lottery, night, relaxation, solitude, time, winning, yourself
Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

2 weeks ago

bridges, burn, hope, humor, keep, metaphor, night, revenge, sarcasm, warm, warmth
Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

2 weeks ago

count, humor, i, insomnia, joke, night, relatable, sheep, sleep, stress, troubles, why
The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

2 weeks ago

3, am, best, contact, dreams, fantasy, humor, humor quote, imagination, late, late night, me, meet, night
I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

2 weeks ago

awake, email, hope, humor, i, keeps, message, night, sarcasm, sleep, wakefulness
Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

2 weeks ago

behavior, early, flight, going, humor, irony, late, late night, mood, naturally, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, room, schedule, self-deprecating, sleep, sleep schedule, stay, tomorrow, tonight, weird, weird behavior
Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

2 weeks ago

absolutely, bed, bedtime, comfort, cover, cuddle, exaggeration, hard, humor, i, last, night, sleep
Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

2 weeks ago

age, aging, chicken, chicken noodle soup, cold, cold medicine, fever, fifty, health, humor, humor about age, means, medicine, night, noodle, rest, retirement, Saturday, Saturday Night Fever, soup, welcome
Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

2 weeks ago

cream, hearing, humor, ice, ice cream, imagination, imagine, music, night, sound, surprise, truck, unexpected

For even more funny night quotes, hit next 👇

All funny night quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Facebook this month:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

96 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

19 shares on Threads this month:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

39 shares on Slack this month:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

61 shares on Slack this month:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Spotted on Telegram:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Trending via WhatsApp:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Just landed via Facebook:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Going bananas on Slack:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Trending via Pinterest:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Shared recently on Discord:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Activity Log ✨

271 Funny night quotes

More funny night quotes 👇

All funny night quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨