Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Commentary:
"Receipts are basically just souvenirs from a quick stop at the store – reminding you of the money you've spent in the most fleeting way possible. 🧾💸♻️ #TrashTalk"

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Commentary:
"Who needs the gym when you can have a piece of cake workout, right? 🍰💪 Even the dumbbells are jealous of that sweet treat! 😂 #CakeOverWeights"

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal dilemma of the chocolate lover – to eat or not to eat, that is the question! 🍫💭 One piece leads to another, and before you know it, you're on a delightful journey to chocolatey happiness! 🤣 Embrace the sweet temptation and enjoy the delicious energy boost one piece at a time!"

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Commentary:
"RIP to the autocorrect inventor. May he forever be remembered for turning 'I love ewe' into 'I love you' 😂🙏 #RestInPiece"

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Commentary:
Teenagers have a magical ability to spot the most random things right when they need them the most! 🤣 It's like they have a sixth sense that immediately kicks in when an important school project is due. Who knew that crumpled-up paper could be the key to academic success? 📝 #TeenageTelekinesis

I don't understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Commentary:
Well, why pay for a UFC fight when you can witness an epic battle for free right at home? 🍭💪 Kids vs Candy – the showdown of the century! Who needs Pay-Per-View when you have sweets hitting the floor like a cage match! 🔔🍬 #ParentingStruggles

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old metric of educational success: nuggets per order! 🍗🎓 Perhaps we should start grading schools based on their crispy chicken output. Who needs standardized testing when you've got a box of nuggets to gauge academic excellence? 😂 #NuggetWisdom"

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Commentary:
Ah, the art of signatures – where doodles and scribbles hold the power to determine our fate! 🤝✍️ It's like a sophisticated "pinky promise" for grown-ups, ensuring that we behave ourselves or face the consequences. Remember, even the most fancy and flourishy signature can't save you from the long arm of the law! 😉🖋️ #SignatureStruggles

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Commentary:
"Oh, what a wake-up call! 😅💀 Sounds like your dream decided to take things a bit too literally. Time to stretch, move around, and make sure all pieces are present and flexible, both physically and metaphorically!"

Can't, trying to piece together today's news from social media posts.

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Commentary:
"Me trying to make sense of today's news like 🤯🔍, except all I see are memes and cat videos 🐱📰 #TheStruggleIsReal"