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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

4 hours ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Breaking via TikTok:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Just landed via Reddit:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Going viral on Messenger:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Just landed via Reddit:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Trending via YouTube:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Just landed via X:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast it had to be done by Elvis.

Shared recently on X:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Spotted on Facebook:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Home » Funny Procrastination Quotes » Page 16

486 Funny procrastination quotes

More funny procrastination quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Commentary:
"Current status: Professional night owl, world-class morning zombie. 🦉☕😴"
2 months ago
Share →: The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Commentary:
"Adulting level 9000: couch to bed marathon! 🛋️🏃‍♂️🛏️ #CouchPotatoOlympics"
2 months ago
Share →: I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Commentary:
"Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow… or next week… or, eh, maybe never? 😅⏳ #ProLevelProcrastination"
2 months ago
Share →: I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Commentary:
"Who knew my heart was a foodie? 🍕❤️🤣 #FridgeGoals"
2 months ago
Share →: You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Commentary:
"Dream big, but end meetings bigger! 😅🕒 #HeroStatus"
2 months ago
Share →: Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Commentary:
"When life gives you flaws, turn them into plot twists! 😂📚 #UnfinishedMasterpiece"
2 months ago
Share →: If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Commentary:
"Patience is key! Good things come to those who wait… and wait… and wait! 😅🔧⏳"
3 months ago
Share →: Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Commentary:
"When did Monday get a fast pass? 😅⏩ #WeekendPleaseComeBack"
3 months ago
Share →: Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Commentary:
"When you realize that interns are basically tomorrow’s procrastination solution, we’re living in the future! 🚀🤓 #DelegationMaster"
3 months ago
Share →: You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Commentary:
"Just waiting for my brain to download new energy… please stand by! 🧠🔄😴"

For even more funny procrastination quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

4 hours ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Spotted on X:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Reported on WeChat:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Spotted on Slack:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

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