343 Funny procrastination quotes

More funny procrastination quotes 👇

  • I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

    Commentary:
    “Proof that my workout motto is ‘Why sweat when you can just pet the dog?’ 🐶😅 #NoPainAllGain”

  • It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the breakfast of champions: a tall glass of questionable choices! 🥞🤔😂”

  • Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

    Commentary:
    Classic! Looks like forgetfulness runs in the family—and in your grocery cart! 😂🛒📝

  • The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

    Commentary:
    Well, looks like the early bird better pack its bags—because once that alarm clock starts ringing at dawn, the rest of us are toast! 🌅✨🤣 Better enjoy your sleep while you can, buddy. The revolution of punctuality is coming! 🐓⏰😉

  • I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

    Commentary:
    Sounds like you’ve mastered the art of the professional procrastinator! 🕒😅 “I have an appointment at 4pm, so I can’t do anything all day” — the perfect excuse to avoid chores and binge-watch your favorite shows instead. 📺🍿 Just remember, even your calendar needs a break from all that *busy* relaxation! 😂✨

  • I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

    Commentary:
    “Tomorrow? Oh, you mean that mythical land where I have my life together? 🤷‍♂️ Who needs plans when you can just wing it and hope for the best, am I right? 😅 #LivingInTheMoment”

  • Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the classic work-week illusion! 😅 Just like a magic trick—”Now you see the hours, now you don’t.” 😂✨ Call off and suddenly those 8 hours turn into 8 seconds of bliss! 🕒☀️ Who knew productivity could be so optional?

  • My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

    Commentary:
    Sounds like you’ve got a full gym membership in procrastination, agility in jumping to wrong ideas, and strength in testing patience! 🏃‍♂️⏰🤪 Keep up the “training”—you’re definitely building some serious life muscles! 💪😂

  • Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

    Commentary:
    “Oops! It seems like that tab just wasn’t meant to be! 🤷‍♂️ Here’s to hoping it wasn’t too important… or too interesting! 😅 #AccidentallyOnPurpose”

  • I need to start hiding my money from myself.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic hide-and-seek game between you and your own wallet! 🕵️‍♂️💸 Who will outwit whom in this battle of financial espionage? Maybe try stashing your money in a place so secret, even you can’t find it! 🤑🔍 #MoneyMystery”

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