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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,736

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Just shared via Discord:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Just shared via Facebook:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Going viral on Instagram:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

Trending via Facebook:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Freshly posted on X:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

99 Funny stay quotes

More funny stay quotes 👇

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

3 weeks ago

2, 6, alone, am, being, broke, day, debt, everything, faith, humor, man, men, optimism, sleep, stay, stereotype, still, wake, wake up, work
Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

3 weeks ago

80s, being, Chinese, Chinese takeout, convinced, eating, grown up, humor, late, main, me, movy, nostalgia, office, stay, stay late, staying, takeout, work
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

3 weeks ago

advice, care, dog, funny advice, grocery, grocery store, hear, home, hour, humor, i, know, needs, pet, pet care, restaurant, stay, store
Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

3 weeks ago

able, adulthood, alone, choice, choose, day, freedom, hear, home, humor, irony, kid, loneliness, scary, scary story, stay, stay home, story, want, whatever
Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

3 weeks ago

away, girls, i, me, need, period, stay
Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

3 weeks ago

after, car, home, humor, men, minutes, question, stay, waiting, why
Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

3 weeks ago

bodily, bodily function, farting, function, habit, humor, i, just, late, late night habit, night, nights, stay, staying, staying up late
The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

3 weeks ago

bedtime, end, free, free time, humor, i, late, management, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, reason, sleep, start, stay, stay up late, time, time management, tomorrow, want
Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

3 weeks ago

apology, here, humor, just, laziness, nap, relationship, single, stay, taking

For even more funny stay quotes, hit next 👇

All funny stay quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Threads this month:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

100 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Is there a word for FOMO but it’s already happened and you didn’t know about it when it was happening?

50 shares on Instagram this month:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

Just shared via Messenger:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Spotted on X:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Just landed via Threads:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Just landed via Messenger:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Live now on Threads:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Spotted on Pinterest:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

Activity Log ✨

99 Funny stay quotes

More funny stay quotes 👇

All funny stay quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨