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Funny steal quotes

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

3 months ago

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

3 months ago

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

3 months ago

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

3 months ago

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

3 months ago

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

3 months ago

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

3 months ago

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

3 months ago

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

3 months ago

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

3 months ago