12 Funny steal quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

  Commentary:
  "Level up your heist skills: become a Time Bandit! 🚽⏰🤣"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

  Commentary:
  "When they try to recreate your sauce but end up with ketchup soup instead! 🍅🤦‍♂️😂"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs lunch when you have a sandwich-stealing eagle on standby? 🦅🥪 Just remember to tip your feathered companion with some extra birdseed! 😉 #BirdsOfSandwichSnatching"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

  Commentary:
  "When it comes to food thieves, keep your friends close and your forks closer! 🍴👀 #SharingIsCaringButNotAlways"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

  Commentary:
  "Teaching life lessons one board game at a time! 🎲💸 Who knew Monopoly could be so educational? 😂 #ParentingWin #MoneyMatters"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

  Commentary:
  "Stealing FitBits to earn a shiny new ankle accessory? That's the new upgrade plan! 👟💼 Who needs a step tracker when you can step up your thievery game! 😉👣 #FitBitGoals"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the modern struggle of juggling passwords and identity theft risk! 🤦‍♂️ Who knew that a strong password could also double as free identity theft protection and a gentle reminder to sit up straight? 🤣 Stay safe out there, folks! #PasswordProblems #IdentityTheftDeterrent

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

  Commentary:
  "I must warn you, the secret government conspiracy involving the object with little wheels under the microwave plate is a high stakes operation. Proceed with caution, my friend! 🕵️‍♂️🔍👽"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

  Commentary:
  "Watch out, comedians! If someone dares to steal your jokes, it's time to get suited up… in a LOLsuit! 😄👔 Laughter is the best defense in these cases! Who knew legal action could be this funny? 😆 #StandUpComedyGoneLegal"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a hoodie when you can upgrade to a whole new ride? 🚗💨 Ladies, level up! #RealWomanGoals"

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