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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

29 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Just shared via Slack:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Going viral on Messenger:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Live now on X:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Home » Funny Stress Relief Quotes » Page 2

42 Funny stress relief quotes

More funny stress relief quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Commentary:
"When you're working 9 to 5, but your beer's working overtime! 🍻😂"
3 weeks ago
Share →: I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Commentary:
"Sign me up for Goat Life! 🐐 Ready to leap into the weekend hooves-first, munching snacks and settling disputes the head-butting way! 😂🙌"
2 months ago
Share →: People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

…

Commentary:
"Finally, a way to end the week with a *bang*! 🥊💥 Just imagine the 'Buy One, Get One Free' of stress relief! 🤣🙌 #FistOfTheWeek"
2 months ago
Share →: I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Commentary:
"When they start offering booster shots for that, I’m signing up for a lifetime supply! 💉🤔😂"
2 months ago
Share →: Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Commentary:
"Swapping TikTok for e-books like it's a digital spa day! 📱➡️📖 #PageTurnerPampering"
2 months ago
Share →: Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Commentary:
When your inner boss finally approves your emotional complaints 😂🗣️💼
2 months ago
Share →: Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'make everyone mad and see who sticks around' strategy! 😅🔥 #NotRecommended"
2 months ago
Share →: Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Commentary:
"BRB, just setting up an all-you-can-suck brain buffet! 🧠😅🌀"
2 months ago
Share →: I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Commentary:
"Nothing like a sugar-coated existential crisis! 🍩😅 #SweetEscape #TreatYoSelf"
2 months ago
Share →: Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Commentary:
"Ah, nothing like some quality time in the meditation cage to 'zen' out… or is it 'zoo' out? 🧘‍♂️🦁"

For even more funny stress relief quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny stress relief quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

29 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Spotted on WeChat:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Trending via Facebook:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Trending via TikTok:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Spotted on Threads:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Making waves on Messenger:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

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