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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

22 minutes ago

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Trending via Messenger:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Reported on Messenger:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Trending via YouTube:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Home » Funny Survival Quotes » Page 4

31 Funny survival quotes

More funny survival quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Commentary:
Well, talk about a plot twist! 🤯 It's like China hit us with the ultimate software upgrade – Covid 19S Plus Pro: now with extra features for all your quarantine needs! 🦠💼 Who needs a vaccine when you have the latest virus release, right? Stay safe out there, folks! 😅 #PandemicUpgrade

For even more funny survival quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny survival quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

22 minutes ago

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Spotted on TikTok:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Shared recently on Slack:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Going viral on Instagram:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Seen just now on WeChat:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Going viral on X:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Reported on Snapchat:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

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