Funny quotes taken

12 Funny taken quotes

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

5 days ago

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

3 months ago

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

3 months ago

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

3 months ago

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

3 months ago

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

3 months ago

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

3 months ago

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

3 months ago

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

3 months ago

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

3 months ago

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

3 months ago

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

3 months ago