They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Commentary:
Well, talk about a creative workaround! 🤣 Looks like the English language played its own cheeky game of hide and seek with these words. The inventors must have had a good chuckle about this one! 🤖🔠 #WordplayWin

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Commentary:
"Ah, so that's why smokers get extra breaks – it's like time-off compensation! ⏳🚬 Sometimes you just gotta stop and smell the… smoke break? 😂 #WorkPerks"

I'm not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I'm starting a family.

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Commentary:
"Apparently, the threat of losing access to Twitter is as serious as starting a family for some 🤣 Maybe they should just stick to tweeting and leave procreation out of it! 🐦🚫👶"

I don't like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Commentary:
"Bananas: the fruit that drove a rift between humans and monkeys, creating a banana battle of epic proportions! 🍌🙉 Who will emerge victorious in this fruity feud? Stay tuned for the next episode of 'Banana Wars'!"

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Commentary:
"Ah, the good ol' days when nerds were content to hide in their basements tinkering with computers. Now they rule the world, one algorithm at a time! 🤓💻 #GeekChic"

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Commentary:
Looks like "yelling less" quickly turned into "yelling stress" for this brave parent 🙈🔥. The road to improved parenting may have hit a pothole or two! 🛣️🚗 #ParentingStruggles

I now also have a device that tells me whether I've taken enough steps today. If I don't make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Commentary:
"Who knew a fitness tracker could be so demanding? 🐾 Better step up your game or prepare for a surprise mess in your living room! 💩 #FitnessFails"

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!" I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Commentary:
"Well, sounds like someone forgot to download the 'listening' software update 😅🤖💬 #MarriageMishaps"

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Commentary:
Ah, the art of subtle shade! 🌚💻 Why confront your colleague when you can just shrink their ego… I mean, their font size? 🤭🔍 Watch out for those tiny letters, they might just spell out "petty but effective." 😏 #OfficeDrama #PassiveAggressiveDesign

HR has told me to stop saying 'How stupid can you be?' to members of staff. They're worried it's being taken as a challenge.

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Commentary:
Oh, HR always trying to ruin the fun! 🤣 Remember folks, asking 'How stupid can you be?' is not a challenge, it's just a rhetorical question…maybe. 😜 #HRwoes #OfficeHumor