Commentary:
"Sounds like you've mastered the art of tiredness – retired today, re-tired tomorrow! ππ€"
181 Funny today quotes
Trending Funny Today Quotes π₯
- I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.
- Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!
- Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.
- My brain is on airplane mode today.
- Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.
More funny today quotes π
Top Funny Today Quotes π₯
- I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.
- Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.
- Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?
- I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.
- If youβre out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. Itβs not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.
For even more funny today quotes, check out the next page, if available π
All funny today quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes π
Need a coffee and a laugh? These funny today quotes deliver both. βπ
Trending Topics
activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need parenting people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology think time want work
Funny Quotes Data π€
390 added this month
10,023
Funny Quotes Topics
2 hours ago