Funny quotes want

308 Funny want quotes

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

5 days ago

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

6 days ago

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

6 days ago

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

6 days ago

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

1 week ago

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

1 week ago

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

3 weeks ago

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

4 weeks ago

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

1 month ago

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

1 month ago

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

1 month ago

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

1 month ago

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

1 month ago

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

1 month ago

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

1 month ago

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

1 month ago

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

1 month ago

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

1 month ago

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

1 month ago

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

1 month ago

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

1 month ago

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

1 month ago

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

1 month ago

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

1 month ago

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

1 month ago

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

1 month ago

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

1 month ago

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

1 month ago

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

1 month ago

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

1 month ago