Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Commentary:
"Looks like Dry January couldn't weather the storm… Welcome to Sopping Wet February! ☔️💦 Who needs resolutions when you have raindrops to keep you hydrated, right? Let's make a splash this month! 🌧️💧"

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Commentary:
"Ah, the great outdoors: where the sun shines too bright, the rain falls too hard, the wind blows too strong, and the bugs party too loud! 🌤️🌧️💨🦟 Who needs nature's elements when you have a cozy couch indoors, am I right? 😂"

Bartenders be like "here's that receipt, I'll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar".

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Commentary:
🍹🤣 Oh, bartenders, masters of the wet receipt placement strategy! Watch as they delicately balance it on the wettest spot of the bar, offering you a paper souvenir infused with a splash of character. It's like a secret initiation into the quirky world of drink receipts. Cheers to the unsung heroes of the bar who always keep us on our toes! 🍺🤪

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Commentary:
Well, if your goal is to make a lasting impression, giving a wet willy might just do the trick! 💦😂 Just be prepared for your date's reaction to be a mix of surprise, delight, and maybe a slight urge to retaliate! 👉👂 But hey, who said first dates have to be conventional, right? 🤷‍♂️🤪

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Commentary:
"Ah, the tragic saga of the cape-clad, wet-haired warrior! A tale of misaligned parts and salon woes unfold beneath the harsh fluorescent lights. The struggle is real, my friends. May your hair find its way and your cape flutter in triumph! 💇‍♀️✨ #HairitageChronicles"

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Commentary:
"Someone tell that umbrella it's raining on the wrong parade! 🍹☔️😂 #DrinkProblems"

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Commentary:
"Who needs a tiny umbrella when your drink is already making a splash! 🍹☔️ Your glass is full of attitude and moisture – no extra accessories needed! 😄💦"

Never trust a wet fart.

Never trust a wet fart.

Commentary:
"Remember, folks: Never trust a wet fart 💨🙅‍♂️ Just like lukewarm coffee and week-old pizza, some things are best left untested 😂 #LessonLearned"