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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,314

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Broadcasted on Discord:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Making waves on Reddit:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Live now on Discord:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Going viral on Instagram:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Trending via Snapchat:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Spotted on TikTok:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Going viral on Reddit:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

28 Funny win quotes

Funny win quotes 😂 bring a burst of joy to every victory 🏆, turning even the smallest triumphs into moments of pure laughter 🎉. Whether you’re celebrating a game, a work win, or just beating Monday, these witty gems add sparkle ✨ and smiles 😄 to your success stories. Get ready to chuckle and share the good vibes with friends — because winning has never been this fun! 🎊🙌

New funny win quotes 👇

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

0

2 weeks ago

business, business motive, care, casino, company, gambling, heal, healing, health, health care, irony, motive, pharmaceutical, pharmaceutical company, skepticism, trust, want, wants, win, winning
Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, fitness, focus, going, hobby, humor, i, lottery, money, museum, need, win, working, workout
My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

0

2 months ago

career, career plan, disappear, dreaming, humor, lottery, plan, sarcasm, thinking, win, wishful, wishful thinking
Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

0

2 months ago

always, boobs, gender, gender humor, humor, humorous, joke, lighthearted, paper, play, playful, pun, rock, why, win, witty, wordplay
It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

0

2 months ago

competition, confidence, humor, i, playful, sarcasm, win
If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

0

2 months ago

award, else, home, homebody, humor, ID, laziness, me, pick, pick-up, procrastination, send, someone, staying, staying at home, win
I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

0

2 months ago

acting, award, busy, easily, going, humor, i, just, Oscar, priorities, right, self-deprecation, things, win
If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

0

2 months ago

anyone, billboard, company, decide, ever, humor, i, invest, investment, joke, lottery, secret, signs, tell, wealth, win
Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

0

2 months ago

athlete, athletes, blame, credit, God, humor, irony, lose, sports, talent, win
“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

0

2 months ago

after, attitude, competition, failure, game, humor, lose, losing, me, perseverance, row, time, win

For even more funny win quotes, hit next 👇

All funny win quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

67 shares on Discord this month:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

24 shares on X this month:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

41 shares on Slack this month:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,247

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Going viral on Slack:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Making waves on Twitch:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Seen just now on Messenger:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Going viral on X:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Making waves on WeChat:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

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