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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,259

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Making waves on Discord:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Just landed via Slack:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Spotted on TikTok:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Just landed via Threads:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Just landed via TikTok:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Shared recently on Instagram:

There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

28 Funny win quotes

Funny win quotes 😂 bring a burst of joy to every victory 🏆, turning even the smallest triumphs into moments of pure laughter 🎉. Whether you’re celebrating a game, a work win, or just beating Monday, these witty gems add sparkle ✨ and smiles 😄 to your success stories. Get ready to chuckle and share the good vibes with friends — because winning has never been this fun! 🎊🙌

New funny win quotes 👇

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

0

2 weeks ago

business, business motive, care, casino, company, gambling, heal, healing, health, health care, irony, motive, pharmaceutical, pharmaceutical company, skepticism, trust, want, wants, win, winning
Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, fitness, focus, going, hobby, humor, i, lottery, money, museum, need, win, working, workout
My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

0

2 months ago

career, career plan, disappear, dreaming, humor, lottery, plan, sarcasm, thinking, win, wishful, wishful thinking
Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

0

2 months ago

always, boobs, gender, gender humor, humor, humorous, joke, lighthearted, paper, play, playful, pun, rock, why, win, witty, wordplay
It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

0

2 months ago

competition, confidence, humor, i, playful, sarcasm, win
If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

0

2 months ago

award, else, home, homebody, humor, ID, laziness, me, pick, pick-up, procrastination, send, someone, staying, staying at home, win
I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

0

2 months ago

acting, award, busy, easily, going, humor, i, just, Oscar, priorities, right, self-deprecation, things, win
If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

0

2 months ago

anyone, billboard, company, decide, ever, humor, i, invest, investment, joke, lottery, secret, signs, tell, wealth, win
Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

0

2 months ago

athlete, athletes, blame, credit, God, humor, irony, lose, sports, talent, win
“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

0

2 months ago

after, attitude, competition, failure, game, humor, lose, losing, me, perseverance, row, time, win

For even more funny win quotes, hit next 👇

All funny win quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

85 shares on Threads this month:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

80 shares on X this month:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

70 shares on Instagram this month:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

37 shares on X this month:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,256

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Trending via X:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Shared recently on Telegram:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Making waves on WeChat:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Spotted on Twitch:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Going viral on Discord:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

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