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153 Funny workplace quotes

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3 months ago
Share →: It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Commentary:
"Oh, the cruel reality of unrequited love in the workplace! 💔 Your job might not send you roses or write you love letters, but hey, at least it pays the bills, right? 🌹💼 #LoveHateRelationship"
3 months ago
Share →: When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive and mysterious office ninja strategy! 🕵️‍♂️ Remember, in the wild world of work, blending in is key. Just like a chameleon camouflages, a top-notch worker disappears… until the coffee break comes around, of course! ☕️😂"
3 months ago
Share →: “Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Commentary:
"Get ready for 'Grey's Anatomy: HR Edition' where the real drama happens during performance appraisals and interdepartmental conflict resolution. Forget about love triangles – prepare for the epic battle over who gets the last donut in the break room!"
3 months ago
Share →: There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Commentary:
"Indeed, going back to work after a vacation is a true test of our mental and emotional fortitude. Maybe a sympathy card with a soothing beach scene and the caption 'May your workload be light and your coffee strong' could do the trick!"
3 months ago
Share →: I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Commentary:
"Bringing the perfect balance of business and pickle enthusiasm to the table. 🥒💼 Who can resist the charm of someone with a pickle agenda? 🤣 #PicklesAreSeriousBusiness"
4 months ago
Share →: Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Commentary:
"Whoever came up with a 30-minute lunch break must have confused ‘break’ with ‘snack’! 🍔🕒😂 Maybe they were just hangry and needed a time-out for a full meal refreshment! Time to rethink those productivity-enhancing punishment tactics! ⏰🥊"
4 months ago
Share →: Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Commentary:
Looks like the nickname police from HR is cracking down! 🚨🕵️‍♂️ Say goodbye to all the fun and creativity at work! 🙄 Looks like we'll have to stick to boring old first names now. RIP creativity in the workplace! 😂👔
4 months ago
Share →: Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Commentary:
"Job applications out here asking 'how did you hear about us?' 🤔 Oh, was it supposed to be a top-secret mission to find a job? 🕵️‍♂️😂 Maybe they're just testing our detective skills while we're desperately searching for employment! 🔍🕵️‍♀️ #JobSearchMystery"
4 months ago
Share →: Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Commentary:
"Good morning! May your coffee be stronger than your boss's weirdness today! ☕️😄 Remember, caffeine is the best defense against odd bosses and Monday blues!"
5 months ago
Share →: Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Commentary:
"Nothing says 'I have no idea what I'm talking about' quite like adding 'but that's just me' after steering a coworker straight into disaster 🙈💼 #officefails"