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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Feel like if a bunch of gays were stranded on a desert island, they’d all drop that voice thing in, like, a day.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,495

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Just landed via YouTube:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Going viral on Slack:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Just landed via Messenger:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Trending via X:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

66 Funny young quotes

Funny young quotes 🎉 are like a burst of sunshine ☀️ on a rainy day! They capture the essence of youthful mischief and the playful spirit of growing up 🌟. Perfect for sharing a giggle with friends or adding a sprinkle of humor to your day 😂, these witty words remind us of the joy of seeing the world through young, mischievous eyes 👀. Dive into the hilarity and let the laughter begin! 😄

New funny young quotes 👇

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

38 minutes ago

aging, excuse, experience, growing, growing up, humor, life, think, young, youth
Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

3 hours ago

age, back, back pain, body, humor, jokes, pain, perspective, relatability, still, young, youth
My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

9 hours ago

chalazion, doctor, eye, eye doctor, eye health, health, hordoleum, humor, medical, medical humor, Pokémon, young, young doctor
My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

19 hours ago

advice, getting, getting older, humor, older, people, person, preparation, prepare, start, stretching, young, young person
“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

1 day ago

adult, aging, confusion, forgetfulness, forgetting, humor, i, memory, room, too, walking, why, young, young adult
Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

1 day ago

check, childhood, code, digital, digital life, email, ever, humor, i, life, online, online security, security, technology, verification, verification code, wanted, young
Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

2 days ago

age, candle, grow, growing, growing old, height, humor, i, life, metaphor, much, old, shorter, tall, young
You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

2 days ago

25, 30, 40, adult, age, am, ambition, before, financial, financial pressure, goal, humor, i, life, life goal, pressure, rich, right, stress, want, wealth, young, young adult
Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

2 days ago

age, bad, bad news, going, humor, life, motivation, news, perspective, right, time, young, youth
One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

2 days ago

age, aging, curiosity, day, fun, humor, i, next, old, saying, tree, wonder, young, youth

For even more funny young quotes, hit next 👇

All funny young quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Instagram this month:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

51 shares on Threads this month:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

74 shares on Threads this month:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear Santa, Money!

20 folks are currently checking 👀

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,264

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Just shared via Twitch:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Going bananas on Threads:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Making waves on Twitch:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Live now on Discord:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Just landed via YouTube:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

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