Funny quotes yourself

64 Funny yourself quotes

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Funny Quotes Mar 9, 2025

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Funny Quotes Mar 9, 2025

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Funny Quotes Mar 8, 2025

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Funny Quotes Feb 16, 2025

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Funny Quotes Feb 3, 2025

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Funny Quotes Jan 29, 2025

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025