You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you. Posted on8 hours ago
Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator. Posted on13 hours ago
Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch. Posted on14 hours ago
Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue. Posted on21 hours ago
Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical. Posted on1 day ago
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer. Posted on1 day ago
You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face. Posted on2 days ago
If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie. Posted on2 days ago
Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head. Posted on2 days ago
Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself. Posted on3 days ago
“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever. Posted on3 days ago
Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day. Posted on3 days ago