Funny quotes yourself

66 Funny yourself quotes

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

1 week ago

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

1 week ago

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

2 months ago

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

2 months ago

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

2 months ago

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

2 months ago

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

2 months ago

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

2 months ago

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

2 months ago

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

3 months ago

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

3 months ago

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

3 months ago

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

3 months ago

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

3 months ago

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

3 months ago

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

3 months ago

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

3 months ago

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

3 months ago

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

3 months ago

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

3 months ago