Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

4,037

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Trending via Threads:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Just landed via Telegram:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Making waves on YouTube:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Breaking via Reddit:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

More funny quotes 👇

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

0

5 months ago

age, childhood, computer, computer lab, going, humor, lab, memory, nostalgia, people, remember, school, technology
Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

0

5 months ago

activity, behavior, business, humor, minding, minding business, own, personal, personal space, sarcasm, social, social behavior, space, unpopular, unpopular activity
Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

0

5 months ago

eating, entertainment, front, guy, humor, me, movie, observation, page, popcorn, reading, snack, while, Wikipedia
“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

0

5 months ago

brother, doing, harder, humor, laziness, motivation, procrastination, productivity, smarter, things, work
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

0

5 months ago

boy, boys, cool, humor, joke, me, milkshake, reach, shelf, top, top shelf, yard
I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

0

5 months ago

confidence, dating, high, high-quality, humor, i, me, relationship, standard, standards, want, woman
Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

0

5 months ago

allowed, celebrity, child, child name, children, culture, humor, name, naming, parenting, pop, pop culture, should
All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

0

5 months ago

acting, always, forget, humor, i, line, performance, stage, world
Work beers should be a daily thing.

0

5 months ago

beer, beers, culture, daily, daily routine, humor, office, office culture, relaxation, routine, should, socializing, thing, work
The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

0

5 months ago

bad, bad singer, community, heart, humor, music, passion, people, self-expression, sing, singer, singing

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

23 shares on Threads this month:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

68 shares on Discord this month:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

78 shares on X this month:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Being awake is the worst.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Live now on Pinterest:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Just shared via Facebook:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Just shared via X:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨