Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,972

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Breaking via Pinterest:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Making waves on Twitch:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Making waves on X:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Making waves on X:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Making waves on YouTube:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Making waves on Messenger:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

More funny quotes 👇

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

0

5 months ago

fabulous, forest, forest ghost, ghost, Halloween, hauntingly, hauntingly fabulous, humor, inner, lost, self-expression, spooky
Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

0

5 months ago

bite, dating, humor, insect, joke, match, me, mosquito, right, seems, swipe
Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

0

5 months ago

humor, laziness, management, nothingness, procrastination, schedule, squeeze, time, time management, today, trying
I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

0

5 months ago

ambition, boy, humor, i, life, me, pray, prayer, relationship, top, win, wish
Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

0

5 months ago

account, days, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, motivation, routine, row, workout
A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

0

5 months ago

again, back, communication, female, ghost, ghosting, relationship, text, texting, time, waiting, whole
What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

0

5 months ago

always, biology, curiosity, equivalent, humor, i, morning, morning wood, question, why, women, wood
Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

0

5 months ago

accurate, amazing, bleeding, expense, finance, humor, money, sarcasm
Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

0

5 months ago

behavior, cult, humor, introvert, making, only, side eye, silence, sit, social, social behavior, suspicion
No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

0

5 months ago

awkwardness, dirty, dirty talk, every, hope, humor, i, insult, revenge, someone, stutter, talk, time, try

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Facebook this month:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

69 shares on Discord this month:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Making waves on YouTube:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Spotted on TikTok:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Making waves on Threads:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Seen just now on Threads:

Drive like no one is watching.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Spotted on TikTok:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨