Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,752

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Broadcasted on Discord:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Trending via YouTube:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Going viral on X:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Live now on Facebook:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Spotted on Messenger:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

More funny quotes 👇

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

0

5 months ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, bumblebee, convinced, cute, cuteness, fluffiness, fluffy, humor, myself, persuasion, self, self persuasion, sting, too
I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

0

5 months ago

1893, beloved, cooking, dramatic, duel, heartbreak, historical, i, just, lost, lost love, love, mine, never, soup, while, whispering
Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

0

5 months ago

awake, clock, every, grandfather, grandfather clock, hour, humor, insomnia, nothing, remind, reminder, sleep, still, time
They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

0

5 months ago

bro, control, humor, literally, media, mind, mind control, program, programming, satire, TV, TV program, us
Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

0

5 months ago

communication, culture, form, humor, information, internet, internet culture, meme, memes, most
Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

0

5 months ago

character, daily, day, goal, humor, identity, main, main character, media, never, social, social media, Twitter
Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

0

5 months ago

addicted, addiction, bad, bad posture, body, body health, comfort, comfortable, give, health, humor, posture, scoliosis, why, yourself
“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

0

5 months ago

attitude, bit, everything, humor, joke, little, me, sarcasm, unfortunately, wit
Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

0

5 months ago

beauty, beauty routine, bikini, bikini wax, coffee, cup, humor, morning, need, routine, schedule, thing, wax
If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

0

5 months ago

am, demise, escape, humor, i, plotting, quiet, sarcasm, threat, witty

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

51 shares on Slack this month:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

51 shares on Discord this month:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

12 shares on X this month:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Making waves on Threads:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Trending via Discord:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Just landed via WeChat:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

Live now on Discord:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Just shared via Telegram:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨