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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

AirPods are hungry for earwax. It’s your job to feed them.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

You don’t read Dostoevsky. You survive him.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,755

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Just landed via Snapchat:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Just shared via WeChat:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Going viral on Threads:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Freshly posted on Discord:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

25 Funny 1 quotes

Funny 1 quotes are the perfect dose of laughter you didn’t know you needed 😂✨ Whether you’re looking to brighten your day or share a giggle with friends, these witty one-liners pack a punch in just a few words! Ready to boost your mood and spread some smiles? Let’s dive into the world of humor that’s short, sweet, and seriously funny! 😜🎉

New funny 1 quotes 👇

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

2 days ago

1, activity, alone, complaints, fun, fun activity, i, myself, replay, riding, song, times
Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

2 days ago

1, 50, activity, after, age, age humor, calling, floor, floor activity, gift, gift wrapping, gifts, help, holiday, holiday preparation, holiday spirit, humor, preparation, spirit, stand, standing, standing up, struggle, wrapping
If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

2 days ago

1, ago, Bitcoin, cryptocurrency, finance, humor, investment, joke, let, let that sink in, sink, ten, value, worth, year’s
I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

3 days ago

1, 3, Christmas, gift, holidays, humor, i, me, package, self-care, shopping
If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

3 days ago

1, anniversary, anything, bad, bad luck, ever, expectations, gift, gifts, going, humor, luck, marriage, scratch, scratch ticket, ticket, wife, win, worst
Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

3 days ago

1, advice, afraid, always, caution, drive, driving, formula, Formula 1, humor, i, just, racing, rain
If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

1 week ago

1, 2007, day, detox, digital, digital detox, disconnect, humor, nostalgia, outside, phone, realize, still, technology, turn, year
There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

2 weeks ago

1, advertising, break, commercial, commercials, day, entertainment, humor, media, month, should, television
USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

2 weeks ago

1, 2, step, think, tracking
3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

2 weeks ago

1, 3, app, apps, concerning, drink, drinks, enough, friend, friends, health, information, mental, mental health, movie, movie theater, text, texting, theater

For even more funny 1 quotes, hit next 👇

All funny 1 quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Discord this month:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

27 shares on Discord this month:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

53 shares on Slack this month:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

28 shares on X this month:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

71 shares on Threads this month:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,359

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Shared recently on Twitch:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Trending via WeChat:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Just landed via Messenger:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Spotted on Threads:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Making waves on Slack:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Trending via Facebook:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

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