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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,314

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Just landed via Snapchat:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Breaking via Instagram:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Just shared via YouTube:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Going viral on Twitch:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Trending via Messenger:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Spotted on Threads:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

40 Funny beverage quotes

Funny beverage quotes are the perfect sip of humor to brighten your day ☕️😂 Whether you’re team coffee, tea, or something fizzy 🥤✨, these witty lines add a splash of laughter to every gulp. Get ready to toast to the funniest takes on your favorite drinks and share a smile with every pour! 🍹🤣 #DrinkUp #SipAndSmile

New funny beverage quotes 👇

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

12 hours ago

ale, beverage, champagne, comparison, drink, ginger, ginger ale, humor, soda
Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

13 hours ago

afternoon, beverage, california, coffee, crying, emotions, humor, iced, iced coffee, most
I need to have a ginger ale about this.

13 hours ago

ale, beverage, drink, ginger, ginger ale, humor, i, need, pun, wordplay
There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

22 hours ago

beverage, clumsiness, coffee, cup, fear, full, hand, morning, nothing, sneeze, spill
Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

24 hours ago

beverage, coke, diet, Diet Coke, gunshot, gunshot wound, humor, injury, ironic, ironic remedy, pain, pain relief, relief, remedy, wound
This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

1 day ago

beverage, caffeine, coffee, frustration, humor, i, morning, need, sarcasm
Why would I put money where my mouth is when wine exists?

1 week ago

beverage, drinking, humor, i, joke, money, mouth, pun, put, sarcasm, where, why, wine
Did you know? By replacing your coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 92% of what little joy you still have left in your life.

2 weeks ago

addiction, beverage, caffeine, coffee, green, green tea, health, humor, joy, know, left, life, lifestyle, little, lose, mood, sarcasm, still, tea
My greatest flaw is that I will try any specialty lemonade. 90% of them are nearly undrinkable, but I persevere.

2 weeks ago

90, beverage, drink, flaw, humor, i, lemonade, perseverance, specialty, specialty drink, taste, taste test, test, try
I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

4 weeks ago

beverage, Christmas, cup, forgetfulness, forgot, holiday, humor, i, max, milk, Pepsi, Pepsi Max, Santa

For even more funny beverage quotes, hit next 👇

All funny beverage quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on YouTube this month:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

20 shares on YouTube this month:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

90 shares on Slack this month:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is based on a true story.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Just shared via Telegram:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Just landed via Telegram:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Just landed via Reddit:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Going viral on YouTube:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Just shared via Snapchat:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Just landed via WeChat:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Freshly posted on Slack:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

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