Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,236

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Live now on TikTok:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Making waves on Slack:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Freshly posted on Slack:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Trending via YouTube:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Going viral on X:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Just landed via WeChat:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

34 Funny black quotes

More funny black quotes 👇

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

0

2 months ago

always, arguing, black, black sheep, corner, culture, digital, digital culture, humor, internet, media, online, online platform, platform, satire, self-argument, sheep, social, social media, tech, tech humor, Twitter, web
Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

0

2 months ago

black, black coffee, coffee, drink, good, good morning, humor, i, morning, oh, remark, sarcasm, tell, ulcer, witty, witty remark
I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

0

2 months ago

activity, beginner, belt, black, black belt, consumerism, humor, i, shopping, skill, things
I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, black, calory, coffee, drink, humor, i, preference, save
Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

0

2 months ago

black, Black Friday, dating, deal, flirt, Friday, girl, humor, joke, line, pickup, pickup line, wondering
Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

0

2 months ago

black, Black Friday, chaos, clocked, consumerism, Friday, heart, humor, i, sales, shopping, someone, used, Wii
White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

0

2 months ago

black, brown, Christian, commentary, diversity, equality, gay, humor, identity, man, old, politics, same, satire, social, social commentary, straight, survival, taste, white, woman, yellow, young, zombie
I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

0

2 months ago

anything, bad, bad hair day, black, black cape, cape, day, hair, humor, incorrect, incorrect part, incorrectly, lights, me, never, parted, sadness, salon, seen, self-deprecation, under, wet, wet hair
Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

0

2 months ago

able, actors, black, black and white, danger, driving, film, film history, green, history, humor, light, movy, red, tell, traffic, traffic light, white
It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

0

2 months ago

away, black, clothes, fashion, packing, seasonal, summer, time, unpacking, winter

For even more funny black quotes, hit next 👇

All funny black quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Instagram this month:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

48 shares on Instagram this month:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

38 shares on Discord this month:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

46 shares on Threads this month:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Going bananas on Threads:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

Live now on Messenger:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Just shared via Facebook:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Spotted on Instagram:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Making waves on Threads:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Shared recently on Discord:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Activity Log ✨

34 Funny black quotes

More funny black quotes 👇

All funny black quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨