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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

54 minutes ago

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Just shared via Reddit:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Just landed via Discord:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Reported on TikTok:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Trending via Instagram:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Just landed via YouTube:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Reported on LinkedIn:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Reported on Telegram:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Home » Funny Career Quotes

51 Funny career quotes

Funny career quotes offer a refreshing take on the often serious world of work! 💼😂 From humorous insights about office life to witty reflections on professional challenges, these quotes bring a lighthearted perspective to our daily grind. Embrace the comedy of your career journey and enjoy a good laugh as you navigate the ups and downs of the workplace! 😄📈

New funny career quotes 👇

5 days ago
Share →: It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Commentary:
Eating dirt: the original "organic" diet. 🌿🤔💁‍♂️
5 days ago
Share →: Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Commentary:
The real struggle is deciding whether to become a professional napper or a full-time snack enthusiast 🤔🛌🍟
5 days ago
Share →: My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Commentary:
Living the dream: become a ninja millionaire! 💸🎯🕵️‍♂️
5 days ago
Share →: Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Commentary:
Living my dream of being a professional couch potato! 🛋️🥔😁
5 days ago
Share →: Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Commentary:
Applying all my hut skills to become the ultimate Hut Manager! 🍕🕶️🏕️
5 days ago
Share →: Having a job ruined my life.

Commentary:
Jobs: the leading cause of weekend grief. 😅💼📅
1 week ago
Share →: I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Commentary:
Navigating adulting like it's an advanced-level video game and I accidentally skipped the tutorial 😅🎮📈
1 week ago
Share →: I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Commentary:
"Applying for jobs with a *tear*-rific twist! 😂👕💪 #HulkHoganInTheOffice"
1 week ago
Share →: Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Commentary:
"Looking for career advice? I'm like a career GPS that only knows the 'Exit' route! 🚪👉😅"
2 weeks ago
Share →: I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Commentary:
"I'd be a serious 'page earner' with that gig! 📚💸😂"

For even more funny career quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny career quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

54 minutes ago

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Making waves on Messenger:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Live now on WeChat:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Live now on X:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Reported on Discord:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Shared recently on X:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

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