103 Funny Christmas quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone is really trying to get on Santa's 'nice' list this year 😏🎅 Who knew that cookies weren't the only thing on the menu! 🍪🎁 #SantasGotOptions"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

  Commentary:
  "No worries, I had time to admire the clearance tag art on your gift 🏷️🎁 Better late than never, right? 😄"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic holiday strategy: eliminate temptation by devouring all evidence of it! 🍪🎅 Who needs willpower when you have an appetite for cookies? 😂 #NewYearNewDiet"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

  Commentary:
  Looks like Santa is trading his milk and cookies for something a bit stronger this year! 🎅🥃 Who knew St. Nick was into the hard stuff? Maybe that's the real secret behind his jolly demeanor! 😄🍪

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

  Commentary:
  Ah, yes, the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey, the undisputed queen of Christmas 🎄👑 It's the time of the year where we all come together to worship her iconic holiday tunes and hit those high notes while attempting to decorate our trees with half the glam she brings to the stage 🎶✨ Bow down to the diva of the season, for her music is the true miracle that embodies the spirit of Christmas! 🎅🎶

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

  Commentary:
  "Breaking news – local resident announces bold holiday plans to 'be home for Christmas' 🎄🏠 Turns out, it's the ONLY logical destination for some festive cheer! Who would've thought? 🤷‍♂️ #ObviousChoice #HomeSweetHome"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

  Commentary:
  Oh, that familiar holiday shopping experience 🛍️🎄 Who can resist treating themselves during the season of giving? 💁‍♀️ After all, it's important to spread the Christmas cheer… both to others and ourselves! 🎁✨ #SelfGiftGoals

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

  Commentary:
  Well, well, well, looks like someone's got some explaining to do! 🎅🏼👀 Who knew Santa had a twin wandering around the mall causing chaos and confusion? 🤷🏻‍♂️ Always expect the unexpected during the holiday season, folks! 🎄😂

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Christmas is coming and you’re not.

  Commentary:
  Looks like Santa might need to make a detour to deliver a sense of humor this year! 🎅🏼🙊 But hey, who needs Christmas when you've got puns like this all year round, am I right? 🎄😂

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  5 months ago

  Share →: l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the Christmas tree – the eternal symbol of holiday cheer and existential crisis all rolled into one! 🎄✨ Just remember, even if you're feeling a bit like a withered old pine inside, you can always put on a dazzling light show for the world to see. Shine on, you festive gem! 💫"

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