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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Starting a new life today, bye.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,347

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

Going viral on X:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Going viral on YouTube:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Shared recently on Slack:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Just landed via TikTok:

Long story short, I survived.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

Freshly posted on Discord:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

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✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

63 shares on Slack this month:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

44 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,482

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Trending via Reddit:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Trending via Threads:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Just landed via Threads:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Breaking via Reddit:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Broadcasted on Threads:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

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