151 Funny comparison quotes

More funny comparison quotes

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  3 months ago

  View →: I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Running feels great until you compare it to not running.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.
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  4 months ago

  View →: People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.
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  4 months ago

  View →: The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Countries are just gangs with paperwork.
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  4 months ago

  View →: January is the Monday of the year.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?
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  4 months ago

  View →: Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.
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  4 months ago

  View →: This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.
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  4 months ago

  View →: IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.
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  5 months ago

  View →: My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.
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  5 months ago

  View →: To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?
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  5 months ago

  View →: The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.
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  5 months ago

  View →: “I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.
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  5 months ago

  View →: “Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.
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  5 months ago

  View →: You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

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