236 Funny comparison quotes

• January: the Monday of months.

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  1 week ago

  beginning, calendar, comparison, humor, January, Monday, month, months, new, new year, time, week, year

• Long-term relationship? Like Tom and Jerry?

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  1 week ago

  animation, cartoon, classic, classic animation, comparison, funny comparison, hate, humor, jerry, long-term, long-term relationship, love, love and hate, relationship, relationship humor, tom, Tom and Jerry

• It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

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  1 week ago

  5, 8, alcohol, beer, beers, comparison, day, drinking, drinking water, fat, Funny, funny comparison, hours, humor, impossible, impossible task, kid, seems, seesaw, shot, shots, task, water

• What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

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  1 week ago

  alive, collapse, collapse of Rome, comparison, historical, historical comparison, humor, life, meme, memes, modern, modern life, Rome, time

• Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

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  1 week ago

  advice, asking, comparison, doctor, doctors, engineer, humor, idea, medical, medical advice, nutrition, printer, printers, software, software engineer, technology

• I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

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  1 week ago

  better, comparison, complaint, hate, humor, i, irony, people, perspective, phrase, say, too, worse

• My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

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  1 week ago

  after, blue, bonnie, Bonnie Blue, comparison, here, humor, laundry, load, machine, over, taking, washing, washing machine

• Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

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  1 week ago

  comparison, ethnicity, girl, girls, humor, just, latina, polish, Polish girl, winter

• I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

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  1 week ago

  adult, astronaut, celebrity, comparison, humor, identity, katy, Katy Perry, perry, same, space

• It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

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  1 week ago

  attractive, attractiveness, bridge, change, comparison, cool, flattering, friend, humor, image, insecurity, jump, less, me, myself, perception, photo, seeing, self, self-image, want

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