219 Funny comparison quotes

Funny comparison quotes are all about those moments when comparing things makes life way more entertaining! 🤔😂 Whether it’s comparing yourself to a superhero, comparing coffee to your personality, or just noticing how ridiculous some comparisons are, these quotes show how humor can be found in the most unlikely side-by-side moments. Let’s laugh at the comparisons we never saw coming! 😆📊💥

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

Commentary:
When caffeine becomes your financial planner! ☕💸😅

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Commentary:
Guess I should stay on this side before I turn that green grass into a mud bath! 🌱🙈🤣

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Commentary:
Breaking up with your stylist takes more negotiation skills than a peace treaty 💇‍♀️✂️🤝

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Commentary:
"Swimming with dolphins just got way more epic, bring on the sea elves and orc sharks! 🧝‍♂️🦈🐬"

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Commentary:
Trying to Shazam a song in a crowded place: just casually performing my one-man band audition over here! 🎶🔨🤦‍♂️

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Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Commentary:
Who knew that the secret to world peace was just to make everything gummy? 🤔🧸🍬

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Commentary:
That wet sports bra deserves an Olympic gold for wrestling! 🐊🤣🌞

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Commentary:
When you want to eat healthy but also party like a rockstar 🥗🍷🎉

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Commentary:
Instagram: where the grass is greener and the filters are stronger 😂📸🌳

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Commentary:
When your date asks if you want to split the bill, just remember: trust is in the air… or is that just broken promises? 🤔💸😂