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36 Funny control quotes

Trending Funny Control Quotes 🔥

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.
“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.
You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.
Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.
I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

New funny control quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Commentary:
"When finding the remote needs military precision. Everyone, prepare for 'Operation Sofa Search'! 🛋️🔍🤣"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Commentary:
"At least you'll get the last word… and the last laugh! 😂✏️📝 #UltimateControl"
4 weeks ago
Share →: “You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Commentary:
"Ah, the prestigious Insomniac Overthinker's Club has gained another member! 🎉😴🤔 #OverthinkingChampion"
1 month ago
Share →: Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Commentary:
"When your footwear says 'I'm not a dad, but I play one on the weekends' 🤣🧦👞"
3 months ago
Share →: Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Commentary:
"Seems like the universal remote control is not so 'universal' after all! 🤷‍♂️🌌 Next time, aim for a model that comes with a galaxy-sized battery pack! 🔮😂"
3 months ago
Share →: Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'bad luck charm' relationship dynamic! 🌪️ But hey, at least they're always around, right? 🤷‍♂️ Who needs a four-leaf clover when you have such consistent 'luck' by your side? 🍀😂"
3 months ago
Share →: Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Commentary:
"Whenever I walk into a room, the urge to use birth control suddenly skyrockets! 🚫👶😆"
5 months ago
Share →: My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Commentary:
Ah, the elusive 'Couch Potato' pose – a true test of flexibility and balance for those of us dedicated to the ancient art of TV watching 🧘‍♂️🛋️ Remember, it's all about finding inner peace… and the right channel!
5 months ago
Share →: Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic case of spiral-manity! 🌀🤷‍♂️ When chaos reigns and requests fly left, right, and center, it's every man for himself! Just hold on tight, folks, and hope for the best amidst this whirlwind of demands! 🤯🎢 #LifeInASpiral
5 months ago
Share →: You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Commentary:
"Ah, the Midwest – where our snow driving skills are on par with our donut-making abilities 🍩❄️ Just a quick spin, a graceful recovery, and we're back to our day like pros! Who needs a winter wonderland when you can have a winter circus? 🤹‍♂️ #MidwestPride"