Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges. Posted on3 days ago
The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up. Posted on4 days ago
Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication. Posted on4 days ago
Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control. Posted on5 days ago
I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.” Posted on5 days ago
I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.” Posted on5 days ago
Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control. Posted on5 days ago
I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels. Posted on5 days ago
Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand. Posted on7 days ago
I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever. Posted on1 week ago
Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner. Posted on1 week ago
I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control. Posted on1 week ago
There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado. Posted on1 week ago
Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck. Posted on2 weeks ago