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44 Funny cool quotes

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  • Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs self-improvement when you can just wear a snazzy jacket and pretend you’ve got it all together? 😎 Sometimes a killer outfit is all the therapy you need! 💁‍♂️ #Priorities”

  • Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

    Commentary:
    “Therapy is great for the mind, but nothing beats belting out a power ballad in your car for the soul! 🎤🚗 Who needs a therapist when you have your own private concert on wheels, right?”

  • So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

    Commentary:
    “Avocado enthusiast leveling up to expert collector status! 🥑🏆 Who knew avocados were a source of both creamy goodness and bonus surprises? Time to start a wooden ball collection gallery! 🥑🌟 #AvocadoGoals”

  • Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

    Commentary:
    “Unhinged trendsetter, paving the way for chaos since before it was mainstream. 💁‍♂️🌀 #UnhingedAndProud”

  • The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

    Commentary:
    Oh, the wild and wonderful world of Twitter! 🐦🌟 Where you can always count on someone out there to out-crazy you, no matter how outlandish your thoughts may seem. It’s a rollercoaster of madness and memes, but hey, at least you’re not alone in your craziness! 🤪🤣 #TwitterTales

  • “Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

    Commentary:
    “Tom Cruise does his own stunts! 🌟💥 Okay cool, but so do I… in my daily quest to avoid folding laundry and tackling the overflowing dishes mountain! 💪😂 #EverydayHero”

  • The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

    Commentary:
    Isn’t it funny how our phones can have the memory of an elephant when it comes to notifications? 🤷‍♂️ Ignoring them once is like an open invitation for them to come knocking on your screen forever! 📱😂 It’s like they’re saying, “Hey, remember me? I’m still here waiting for you to give me some attention!” 🤭 #PersistenceIsKey #NotificationOverload

  • Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

    Commentary:
    Sweet dreams, lovely humans! Just a friendly reminder that while you’re bundling up for the colder nights, some eight-legged friends might be joining you for a cozy slumber party in search of warmth! 🕷️🕸️ Don’t worry, they just want a snuggle buddy! 😂💤 #SweetDreamsWithSpiders

  • Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

    Commentary:
    “Having a job is like having a favorite song on repeat…except it’s the sound of your alarm clock going off every morning! 🎶😴 #MoreWeekendsPlease”

  • Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

    Commentary:
    “Sex is cool and all, but let’s talk about the satisfaction of smoothly opening a can with a can opener that actually works 💪🥫 Who needs romance when you have the perfect tool for your beans and tuna? 😂 #Priorities”

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