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Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,987

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Breaking via Facebook:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Just shared via Reddit:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Going viral on Twitch:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Seen just now on X:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Just shared via Messenger:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Shared recently on WeChat:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Shared recently on Slack:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Home » Funny Decision Making Quotes » Page 2

37 Funny decision making quotes

More funny decision making quotes 👇

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

0

2 months ago

advice, balance, brain, caution, decision, decision making, follow, heart, humor, making, take, wisdom
I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

0

2 months ago

compliment, confidence, decision, decision making, decisions, government, humor, i, independence, just, making, myself, outcome, read, said, sarcasm, self-compliment, self-esteem, should, thanks, thing
Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

0

2 months ago

chores, clean, cook, daily, daily task, decision, decision making, grocery, humor, humor quote, i, laziness, making, okay, procrastination, reading, shopping, task
Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

0

2 months ago

adrenaline, big, choice, choose, decision, decision making, humor, nightmare, procrastination, quick, quick choice, sleep, stress
“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

0

2 months ago

advice, bias, cognitive, cognitive bias, decision, decision making, follow, heart, humor, making, self-awareness, sort, yourself
There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad decision, decision, decision making, decisions, dog, dogs, funny suggestion, guide, guide dog, humor, humorous, humorous idea, idea, making, prevent, should, suggestion
Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

0

2 months ago

absolutely, animals, beaver, confusion, curiosity, decision, decision making, doing, even, humor, just, know, making, nature, river, think, water
I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

0

2 months ago

age, am, away, box, clutter, decision making, hoarding, humor, i, nice, perspective, question, sentimentality, storage, throwing, where
I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

0

2 months ago

activity, buying, choice, convince, decision, decision making, desire, fun, fun activity, humor, i, impulsive, indulgence, jetski, keep, life, life choice, living, making, me, need, recreational, someone, temptation
The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, challenge, daily, daily routine, day, decision, decision making, eat, eating, every, humor, life, life struggle, making, real, routine, struggle

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Threads this month:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

59 shares on X this month:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

45 shares on Slack this month:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

28 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

50 shares on Threads this month:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Trending via Messenger:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Spotted on Facebook:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Spotted on TikTok:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Just shared via X:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Going viral on Instagram:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Going viral on X:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Activity Log ✨

37 Funny decision making quotes

More funny decision making quotes 👇

All funny decision making quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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