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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

4,002

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Just shared via Telegram:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Trending via Slack:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Seen just now on Instagram:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Spotted on Telegram:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Shared recently on Slack:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Home » Funny Desire Quotes

80 Funny desire quotes

Funny desire quotes bring a playful twist to the things we crave and dream about. 😆✨ From cheeky musings on our wildest wishes to humorous takes on our everyday yearnings, these quotes are sure to tickle your funny bone. Dive in and enjoy a laugh at the quirks of desire! 😂💭

New funny desire quotes 👇

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

0

2 weeks ago

called, confusion, desire, horny, humor, libido, mental, mental state, mentally, physical, physical response, physically, response, sexuality, state, want
The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

0

3 weeks ago

attraction, awkward, desire, forbidden, humor, me, person, relationship, sexual, sexual tension, tension
I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

0

4 weeks ago

desire, experience, humor, i, inside, lamp, lava, lava lamp, physically, quirky, quirky desire, wish
You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

0

1 month ago

attraction, bad, desire, emotion, ever, frustration, humor, little, relationship, someone, want
Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

0

2 months ago

attraction, bed, believe, desire, everyone, gender, humor, i, just, lot, noise, relationship, sexuality, short, short shorts, shorts, someone, wants
Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

0

2 months ago

able, app, desire, feeling, heart, humor, inner, inner feeling, music, music app, Shazam, should, yearning
I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

0

2 months ago

cake, desire, food, humor, i, offer, relationship, say, secret, temptation, want
God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

0

2 months ago

desire, discover, enough, God, happiness, happy, humor, i, irony, me, money, wealth, wish
A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

0

2 months ago

desire, humor, Italy, money, month, motivation, travel, vacation, work
All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, confidence, desire, ever, good, hope, humor, image, look good, naked, someone, take, wanted

For even more funny desire quotes, hit next 👇

All funny desire quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

59 shares on X this month:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

92 shares on Threads this month:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

11 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,759

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

They expect me to work at work.

Live now on Pinterest:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Spotted on WeChat:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Just landed via Slack:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Just landed via Reddit:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

Spotted on Messenger:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Going viral on Snapchat:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Just shared via Slack:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

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