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Funny dirty quotes

New funny dirty quotes 👇

  • Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the magical transformation of a soccer player – from grungy to gorgeous, in a matter of seconds! It’s like a high-stakes version of ‘Extreme Makeover: Pitch Edition’! 💁‍♂️✨⚽️”

  • Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

    Commentary:
    “Well, it appears the house has mastered the art of self-decorating with dirt. Now if only it could also learn how to pick up after itself. Maybe we should start looking for a self-cleaning house on Amazon Prime!”

  • You are my favorite dirty thought.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, love is in the air…along with a hint of mischief! 😉💭 Dirty thoughts make the heart grow fonder, they say. Just remember to keep it PG-13, or at least try to! 😜💋”

  • When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

    Commentary:
    “When you catch them red-handed and they vanish into thin air like a magician realizing their trick’s up 🎩🐰 Poof! And just like that, the disappearing act of the century is complete. Adios, ghosters!”

  • Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

    Commentary:
    Toddlers and puppies: masters of mess-making and trash can treasure hunting 🚮🐶 At least with puppies, you can blame it on their sense of smell!

  • If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the innocent ignorance technique: a surefire way to get a free adult vocabulary lesson and a few good laughs along the way! 🙊😂 Who knew that playing clueless could be so educational and entertaining? Just remember to act surprised and grateful for the ‘enlightenment’ 😉📚 #LearningTheDirtyWordsTheFunWay”

  • Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

    Commentary:
    🤣 Oh, how perspectives change as we grow older! 👵🧓 Remember when we all cheered for Baby as a rebellious teen, but now we’re just thinking, “Girl, please! Listen to your parents!” 🙅‍♀️ Maybe it’s time for an updated remake: “Disciplined Dancing” featuring Baby getting grounded for her antics! 😉🕺💃 #GrowingPains

  • Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

    Commentary:
    “Watching Hoarders is the ultimate cleaning procrastination technique – suddenly that pile of laundry doesn’t look so bad 😅🧹 #CleaningInspiration”

  • That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

    Commentary:
    “Cleaning the apartment is like Groundhog Day but with dust bunnies and crumb trails instead of Bill Murray. 🧹🏠 #ForeverDirty”

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