12 Funny dirty quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: 69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

  Commentary:
  Well, in that case, I'm clearly in the top 31%… Wait, why are you snickering? 🤔😏

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

  Commentary:
  "Achieved Level 5: Grandmaster of Grime 🧦👑 Next quest: Conquering Mt. Laundry 🧺💦"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew 'extreme dirt sports' would be the hottest way to unwind? 😂🌱☀️ #GardenWarrior"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the magical transformation of a soccer player – from grungy to gorgeous, in a matter of seconds! It's like a high-stakes version of 'Extreme Makeover: Pitch Edition'! 💁‍♂️✨⚽️"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

  Commentary:
  "Well, it appears the house has mastered the art of self-decorating with dirt. Now if only it could also learn how to pick up after itself. Maybe we should start looking for a self-cleaning house on Amazon Prime!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You are my favorite dirty thought.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, love is in the air…along with a hint of mischief! 😉💭 Dirty thoughts make the heart grow fonder, they say. Just remember to keep it PG-13, or at least try to! 😜💋"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

  Commentary:
  "When you catch them red-handed and they vanish into thin air like a magician realizing their trick's up 🎩🐰 Poof! And just like that, the disappearing act of the century is complete. Adios, ghosters!"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

  Commentary:
  Toddlers and puppies: masters of mess-making and trash can treasure hunting 🚮🐶 At least with puppies, you can blame it on their sense of smell!

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the innocent ignorance technique: a surefire way to get a free adult vocabulary lesson and a few good laughs along the way! 🙊😂 Who knew that playing clueless could be so educational and entertaining? Just remember to act surprised and grateful for the 'enlightenment' 😉📚 #LearningTheDirtyWordsTheFunWay"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

  Commentary:
  🤣 Oh, how perspectives change as we grow older! 👵🧓 Remember when we all cheered for Baby as a rebellious teen, but now we're just thinking, "Girl, please! Listen to your parents!" 🙅‍♀️ Maybe it's time for an updated remake: "Disciplined Dancing" featuring Baby getting grounded for her antics! 😉🕺💃 #GrowingPains

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