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11 Funny dirty quotes

Trending Funny Dirty Quotes 🔥

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.
If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.
Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.
That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.
Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

New funny dirty quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Commentary:
"Achieved Level 5: Grandmaster of Grime 🧦👑 Next quest: Conquering Mt. Laundry 🧺💦"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Commentary:
"Who knew 'extreme dirt sports' would be the hottest way to unwind? 😂🌱☀️ #GardenWarrior"
3 months ago
Share →: Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Commentary:
"Ah, the magical transformation of a soccer player – from grungy to gorgeous, in a matter of seconds! It's like a high-stakes version of 'Extreme Makeover: Pitch Edition'! 💁‍♂️✨⚽️"
3 months ago
Share →: Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Commentary:
"Well, it appears the house has mastered the art of self-decorating with dirt. Now if only it could also learn how to pick up after itself. Maybe we should start looking for a self-cleaning house on Amazon Prime!"
5 months ago
Share →: You are my favorite dirty thought.

Commentary:
"Ah, love is in the air…along with a hint of mischief! 😉💭 Dirty thoughts make the heart grow fonder, they say. Just remember to keep it PG-13, or at least try to! 😜💋"
5 months ago
Share →: When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Commentary:
"When you catch them red-handed and they vanish into thin air like a magician realizing their trick's up 🎩🐰 Poof! And just like that, the disappearing act of the century is complete. Adios, ghosters!"
5 months ago
Share →: Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Commentary:
Toddlers and puppies: masters of mess-making and trash can treasure hunting 🚮🐶 At least with puppies, you can blame it on their sense of smell!
5 months ago
Share →: If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Commentary:
"Ah, the innocent ignorance technique: a surefire way to get a free adult vocabulary lesson and a few good laughs along the way! 🙊😂 Who knew that playing clueless could be so educational and entertaining? Just remember to act surprised and grateful for the 'enlightenment' 😉📚 #LearningTheDirtyWordsTheFunWay"
5 months ago
Share →: Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Commentary:
🤣 Oh, how perspectives change as we grow older! 👵🧓 Remember when we all cheered for Baby as a rebellious teen, but now we're just thinking, "Girl, please! Listen to your parents!" 🙅‍♀️ Maybe it's time for an updated remake: "Disciplined Dancing" featuring Baby getting grounded for her antics! 😉🕺💃 #GrowingPains
5 months ago
Share →: Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Commentary:
"Watching Hoarders is the ultimate cleaning procrastination technique – suddenly that pile of laundry doesn't look so bad 😅🧹 #CleaningInspiration"