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39 Funny early quotes

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025
If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025
I spend half the day wondering if it's too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it's too early for alcohol.

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025
Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025
I just learned the professional way to say "I told you so": "This was identified early on as a likely outcome."

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025
I'm so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025
If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025
Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025
Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025
I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025