14 Funny English quotes

• 

  5 days ago

  Share →: So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

  Commentary:
  When life gives you telemarketers, give them a taste of their own menu! 🤣☎️ Press 1 for a good laugh!

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

  Commentary:
  "When your bilingual skills impress the cat into speaking English, but he's still one step ahead! 🐱🗣️😂 #FluentInFeline"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

  Commentary:
  "Whoever invented these spellings must have had a 'wry' sense of humor! 🤔🤣🗓️"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

  Commentary:
  "English is like a buffet where you can drink a drink, but sorry, no fooding allowed! 🍹🚫🍕🤔"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the eternal quest for crucial life data! 📊🥜🍞 Just imagine having a dedicated stats screen for essential metrics like toastiness levels of English Muffins or the precise ratio of peanut butter to muffin! 🤔📈 If only there was a dashboard that could quantify our culinary adventures in such delicious detail! 🥪🤓 #SnackStatsGoals

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old question of linguistic mastery in Boston! 🤔🇺🇸 Apparently, in Beantown, speaking English is more of a creative interpretation! 😂✈️🗣️ #LostInTranslation"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

  Commentary:
  Looks like English wasn't the only thing lost in translation here! 😅 Who needs grammar when you've got charisma, right? Keep 'em guessing with that unique charm! 😉 #LostInTranslation

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

  Commentary:
  Oh, English, the language that keeps you guessing and laughing simultaneously! 🤪📚 It's a wild ride of inconsistency where read can sound like lead, but don't even think about making read rhyme with lead! 🤯🤓 How else would we keep our brains on their toes if not for these linguistic acrobatics? 🤔💬 #EnglishLanguageShenanigans

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

  Commentary:
  When dealing with heartbreak, English gets right to the point while poetry takes the scenic route and grabs a cup of tea along the way ☕️💔 Emotions are like a complex labyrinth – one moment you're discussing change, the next you're wistfully pondering ghosts of relationships past 👻💔 Ah, the power of language to beautifully capture the messiness of love and loss! 📜❤️ #PoetryVsProse

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like science is all bones and no fun, while English lit is about to get a major body makeover! 💀📚 Let's add a splash of intrigue to those old dusty books! Who knew cadavers could be so well-read?"

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