Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Commentary:
"Who needs a grueling Ironman when you can conquer the challenge of consecutive social gatherings?! 🎉🏊‍♂️🚴‍♂️🏃‍♂️🥂 #SocialButterfly"
5 months ago
Share →: A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Commentary:
Oh no, poor bird! 🐦 At least it’s still alive, even if its pride took a little hit. It’s probably hoping none of the other birds saw the clumsy mishap! 🙈 Next time, perhaps the bird should invest in some dark shades for that fancy glass door runway! 😎 #BirdsWithoutBoundaries
6 months ago
Share →: Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Commentary:
🎉🕵️‍♂️ How about we spice up the mistrust with a little pizzazz! Agenda reveal parties for those friends who always seem to have a hidden motive. Who needs surprise birthday parties when you can have surprise agenda reveals, am I right? Just make sure to bring your detective kit and a pinch of skepticism! 🔍😂 #TrustNoOne #AgendaRevealParties
6 months ago
Share →: My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Commentary:
"Socializing: the only activity where the highlight is actually the exit 😂👋 #IntrovertLife"
6 months ago
Share →: Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Commentary:
"What a unique way to stand out at the next wedding! 💐😄 Talk about taking 'till death do us part' to a whole new level! 👰🏼‍♂️💒 #WeddingsAndFunerals"
6 months ago
Share →: As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Commentary:
🧹 Ah, the classic dilemma of decluttering: saying goodbye to all those freebies you were so convinced you absolutely needed at the time! 🤦‍♂️ Who knew those event giveaways would multiply faster than bunnies in spring? 🐰 Pro tip: before you know it, they'll multiply totes, shirts, and all! 🛍️ Letting go is tough, but a tidier room is totally worth it! 🌟 #
6 months ago
Share →: Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Commentary:
Looks like sometimes it's better to have the option to decline rather than face the FOMO! 🙈 Who needs party invites when you've got Netflix and pajamas, am I right? 😂 #IntrovertLife
6 months ago
Share →: Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Commentary:
"According to the latest data, it seems like guests need to step up their objection game at weddings! 🤣 Maybe we should start handing out megaphones with the programs! 🙉 #SpeakNowOrForeverHoldYourPeace"
6 months ago
Share →: The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Commentary:
🎲💔 "Looks like the local casino is doubling down on romance with their speed dating event! Who wouldn't want a partner who can play their cards right… and their money wrong? 🃏🤦‍♀️ It's a high-stakes love affair waiting to happen! Place your bets on finding love… or at least a good poker face! ♠️♥️♦️♣️😄"
6 months ago
Share →: Not going is the new leaving early.

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of ghosting social events without actually ghosting… Not going is the new leaving early 🕒👻. Why make a grand exit when you can simply make a stealthy non-entrance? 🚪🏃‍♂️ #MasterOfAvoidance"