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Wordgag ツ
10,000+ funny quotes
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235 Funny fun activity quotes
I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.
2 months ago
Date night idea: fight another couple.
2 months ago
Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?
2 months ago
It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.
2 months ago
I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.
2 months ago
I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?
2 months ago
People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.
2 months ago
Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.
2 months ago
I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.
2 months ago
For the record, I use a turntable.
2 months ago
The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.
2 months ago
THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.
2 months ago
It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.
2 months ago
My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.
3 months ago
A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.
3 months ago
Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.
3 months ago
Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?
3 months ago
We go together like coffee and cigarettes.
3 months ago
Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.
3 months ago
Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.
3 months ago
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