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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Breaking via Reddit:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Breaking via Threads:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Just landed via Discord:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Spotted on WeChat:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Going viral on Discord:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

No more relationships for me; the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Going viral on Slack:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Seen just now on Discord:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Just shared via Threads:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Just landed via Slack:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Just shared via TikTok:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Trending via Discord:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Just landed via Slack:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

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