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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I need a break from me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2250 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,412

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,412

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Trending via TikTok:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Just landed via Slack:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Going viral on X:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Reported on Reddit:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Reported on Reddit:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Making waves on Threads:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Home » Funny Give Quotes » Page 2

119 Funny give quotes

More funny give quotes 👇

3 days ago
Share →: I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Commentary:
"Fun fact about me: I once survived an icebreaker by using 'um' as a flotation device! 😅🧊🚤"
3 days ago
Share →: Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Commentary:
They should have offered PhDs in Hide and Seek, I'd be a world champ by now! 🎓🤷‍♂️😂
4 days ago
Share →: You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Commentary:
Desperate times call for desperate spammers! From royal riches to real-world job offers—what's next, an email saying I won a year of free parking? 🚗📧😂
5 days ago
Share →: I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Commentary:
Wait, so when do we get the "cool uncle/aunt" paycheck to fund this operation? 🤔💸😆
5 days ago
Share →: Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Commentary:
Once this broccoli becomes a lawyer, there are no excuses left! 🌿📚💼
6 days ago
Share →: Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Commentary:
Sounds like we all deserve a "Survived Today" medal – participation trophies for everyone! 🏆🎉😊
6 days ago
Share →: So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Commentary:
"Breaking News: Fact checkers discover the news was supposed to have facts all along! 🎤🐸📺"
7 days ago
Share →: Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Commentary:
Could you also give it a massage while you're at it? 😂🧸✨
7 days ago
Share →: I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Commentary:
Butterflies in the stomach are overrated anyway—roach vibes keep you grounded! 🦋➡️🪳😅
1 week ago
Share →: If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Commentary:
Looks like we're all out of reminders—moving on to happier vibes! 🚀😄✌️

For even more funny give quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny give quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Making waves on Instagram:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Going viral on Twitch:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Live now on WeChat:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Trending via Twitch:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Just landed via Instagram:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

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Activity Log ✨

119 Funny give quotes

More funny give quotes 👇

For even more funny give quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny give quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

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