14 Funny habit quotes

• 

  1 day ago

  Share →: My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

  Commentary:
  Looks like you and your door camera are in a long-term relationship! 🚪📷😆

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

  Commentary:
  Suddenly realizing that my camera doubles as a time machine 😂📸🥦🍩

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

  Commentary:
  Why get too close? I'm just practicing social distancing with curbs! 🚗😂

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Attention: The Bed Monsters Union has filed a grievance due to unsafe working conditions. 🛌🧹😂"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic case of adding everything your heart desires into the virtual cart and then suddenly realizing your bank account's limits! It's like a modern-day version of window shopping, except the windows are digital and the laughter is a mix of joy and financial caution. Who knew online shopping could be such a rollercoaster of emotions?

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a reason to eat cake when you can just make someone's imaginary birthday a daily celebration? It's like a delicious excuse to indulge in frosting and sprinkles, all in the name of spreading joy through sugar highs!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew paper towels could be a status symbol? 💸🧻 Just imagine the envy at the posh paper towel parties! ✨😂 #FancyAbsorbency"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

  Commentary:
  "Oops, my phone just wants to capture its own beauty! 📸😄 Clearly, it's a big fan of its own wallpaper! 📱🌟 #ScreenshotBlunders"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: My bad habits got renewed for another season.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your bad habits are a hit with the audience! 📺😂 Who needs a cancellation when you've got that kind of staying power? Keep those habits fresh for the next season! 🔄🤪

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

  Commentary:
  🚭 "I find myself thinking 'God, I need a cigarette' way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke. Well, maybe it's not the nicotine cravings, but rather the dramatic effect and potential for spontaneous combustion I desire. 🔥 Stay lit in spirit, not in ash!" 🚬

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