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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,664

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Shared recently on Instagram:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Trending via YouTube:

I just wanna buy $16 worth of a meme coin and sell it for $2.6M two weeks later.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Breaking via TikTok:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Just shared via Instagram:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

72 Funny heart quotes

Funny heart quotes bring a delightful blend of humor and affection to matters of the heart! ❤️😂 Whether it’s poking fun at the ups and downs of love or sharing lighthearted insights about emotions, these quotes add a playful touch to the deeper feelings we all experience. Enjoy a laugh and celebrate the humorous side of love with these heartwarming gems! 😄💖

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All funny heart quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

42 shares on Reddit this month:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

83 shares on Twitch this month:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

32 shares on Slack this month:

App idea: couples upload their arguments. The internet votes on who was right.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Spotted on Threads:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Just landed via Threads:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It seems really unfair that my future depends on me.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

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