Funny helpful quotes

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  1 week ago

  Share →: Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

  Commentary:
  "Next on your playlist: 'Professional Counseling Sessions' – they really hit all the right notes! 😂🎶🛋️"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

  Commentary:
  Looks like Officer Serious is not here to play games! 🚔 Remember, it's their interrogation room, we're all just living in it. Keep those answers straight and the jokes to a minimum, unless you want a one-way ticket to the time-out corner! 😂 #TheLawIsNotAmused

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  6 months ago

  Share →: My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

  Commentary:
  🍋👨‍🍳 "When life gives you lemons, add a touch of 'ciao' and whip up a ricotta masterpiece! 🇮🇹🤖 Dad took Siri's recipe search to a whole new level with his Italian charm. Who knew technology had a taste preference? 🤔📱 #WhenInDoubtAddPasta"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

  Commentary:
  😂🎄 "Ah, the classic Christmas eve panic, where last-minute shopping becomes an extreme sport! 'Well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner' is like the holiday version of 'I told you so!' ❄️ Pro tip: stock up on eggnog and patience for those who find themselves in this jolly predicament!"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

  Commentary:
  Looks like your plant app is being about as helpful as a magic eight ball! 🪴💦🚱 Maybe it's time to switch to a Plant Psychic app instead? 🔮😂

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, the ol' 'fart your way to freedom' strategy, a true gas-powered escape plan! 🌬️💨 Just imagine the looks on your kidnappers' faces as they realize they've underestimated the power of nervous flatulence! 💨😂 Remember, when in doubt, let it out! #FlatulenceForFreedom"

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