99 Funny husband quotes

• Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

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  58 minutes ago

  Barbie, couple, creator, fact, fun, fun fact, hot, Hot Wheel, husband, marriage, toy, trivia, wheel, wheels, wife

• My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

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  2 hours ago

  beach, behavior, food, fry, funny behavior, humor, husband, i, relationship, say, seagull, snack, stealing, stealing food, want

• Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

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  4 hours ago

  advice, dating, future, future husband, humor, husband, just, move, move on, never, relationship, say

• My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

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  6 hours ago

  delicious, delicious food, food, food lover, future, future husband, humor, hunger, hungry, husband, i, know, lover, lucky, never, relationship, restaurant, restaurants, stay

• One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

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  8 hours ago

  daughter, day, family, got, humor, husband, i, know-it-all, parenting, personality, personality traits, Sassy, say, traits, wait

• I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

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  9 hours ago

  communication, even, humor, husband, i, knows, misunderstanding, relationship, silence, speaking, think

• My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

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  12 hours ago

  hack, humor, husband, lose, matching, matching pair, me, packing, pair, reader, rolling, sock, sock trick, together, told, travel, travel hack, trick, trip, used

• I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

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  15 hours ago

  caught, cream, diet, dieting, eat, eating, food, going, humor, husband, i, ice, ice cream, last, last night, night, relationship, second, spouse, together

• Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

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  16 hours ago

  accessory, ask, bring, doubt, every, hell, humor, husband, i, lol, man, me, men, misunderstanding, purse, relationship, scary, something, time, whole, why, women

• My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

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  18 hours ago

  back, chair, chairs, household, humor, husband, just, laziness, magic, marriage, push, relationship

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