66 Funny husband quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

  Commentary:
  "When your husband’s pants play hide and seek better than the kids ever could! 🤦‍♂️👖🤣"

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

  Commentary:
  "When selective hearing is the real secret to a happy marriage! 😂👂❤️"

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

  Commentary:
  "When finding the remote needs military precision. Everyone, prepare for 'Operation Sofa Search'! 🛋️🔍🤣"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic case of double duty! 😅 When your work husband starts showing up in your pajamas and your Netflix queue, you know it's time to set some boundaries. 📺💻👔 Who knew the home office came with a built-in service package—personal and professional? 😂🏡 #WorkFromHomeProblems

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

  Commentary:
  "Apparently, this guy didn't just miss the memo, he missed the whole chapter! 🤷‍♀️ Let's hope he enjoys surprises as much as he enjoys dinner dates! 🙊 #Awkward"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: “You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the fine line between love and stalking – it's all about perspective, really! 🕵️‍♀️🤷‍♂️ Who knew gathering intel on your future spouse could be frowned upon? 😂#RelationshipGoals #StalkerInLove"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs feng shui when you have a husband to keep on his toes? 💁‍♀️🪑 #MarriagePrankster"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the eternal struggle of deciding what to have for dinner – a battle as old as time itself! 🍴😂 It's a classic showdown between "It doesn't matter" and "It's your turn to choose" – may the sweetest victory be in your favor! 🏆✨ Just remember, no matter what you end up choosing, the real winner is always the one who doesn't have to cook! 😉🍕

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  3 months ago

  Share →: My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like Don just got an 'E'-scape plan from that marriage! Talk about a one-letter solution to a two-letter problem!"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the joys of marriage – where 'blissfully happy' meets 'pleasantly surprised'. Who knew that meeting your spouse could turn your world upside down after 25 years of harmony? It just goes to show that even the best relationships can use a little shake-up now and then!"

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