Funny Husband Quotes That Will Have You Laughing at Married Life! 🤵😂

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

May 6, 2024May 6, 2024

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Nov 20, 2023Nov 20, 2023

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Nov 15, 2023Nov 15, 2023

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Nov 8, 2023Nov 8, 2023

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Oct 15, 2023May 6, 2024

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Oct 6, 2023Oct 6, 2023

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Sep 30, 2023Sep 30, 2023

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Sep 30, 20232 months ago

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Sep 29, 2023May 9, 2024

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Sep 28, 2023Sep 28, 2023

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Sep 22, 2023Nov 2, 2023

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Sep 22, 20232 months ago

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Sep 22, 2023May 6, 2024

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023