22 Funny issues quotes

• Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

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  6 days ago

  brother, conversation, dinner, dinner conversation, family, family gathering, gathering, holiday, humor, issue, issues, me, nicely, pair, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving dinner, unresolved, unresolved issue, wine

• I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

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  6 days ago

  assume, everyone, finds, fun, humor, i, insecurity, interaction, issues, lying, me, otherwise, sarcasm, self-doubt, skepticism, social, social interaction, tell, trust, trust issues, unattractive, unattractiveness

• Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

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  7 days ago

  change, coconut, counting, falling, falling coconut, getting, humor, issue, issues, personality, work

• I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

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  1 week ago

  accounting, complaint, diss, diss track, got, humor, i, invoicing, issue, issues, job, jobs, let, music, poorly, rhyme, sick, solve, track, us, wish, workplace

• People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

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  1 week ago

  always, commitment, commitment issue, dating, distant, emotionally, emotionally distant, eye, fish, got, humor, issue, issues, people, relationship, salmon, say, sea, specific

• You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

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  1 week ago

  ever, everyday, everyday problem, frustration, humor, i, irony, issue, issues, man, own, past, problem, recurring, recurring issue, relatable, repetitive, self-awareness, surprise, thought

• I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

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  1 week ago

  humor, i, irritate, irritation, issues, me, motivational, self-awareness

• “Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

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  1 week ago

  actions, consequences, epidemic, humor, issues, just, karma, loneliness, male, male loneliness, social, social issues

• Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

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  2 weeks ago

  abandonment, due, health, humor, irony, issues, mental, mental health, self-awareness, yes

• Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

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  2 weeks ago

  bad, being, boil, going, going to sleep, habits, humor, issues, lifestyle, lot, me, morning, morning struggle, night, night struggle, problems, procrastination, sleep, sleep habits, sleep issues, struggle, waking, waking up

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