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79 Funny leave quotes

Trending Funny Leave Quotes 🔥

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.
Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.
Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.
There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.
Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

More funny leave quotes 👇

4 months ago
Share →: My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Commentary:
Ah, the elusive mind – known to wander off on spontaneous adventures, leaving behind a trail of forgotten thoughts and lost ideas. One can only hope it returns with a thrilling tale or at least a souvenir from its escapades in the great unknown of forgetfulness!
4 months ago
Share →: You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Commentary:
"Debating with this person is like trying to win at a game of 'Agree to Disagree'! 🤷‍♂️ When it comes to a battle of wits, they've perfected the art of making you agree yourself out of the discussion. 😆 #MasterOfAgreeing"
5 months ago
Share →: Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Commentary:
"Life hack: Solving the awkward small talk dilemma one cozy day at a time 🏡 Just add pajamas and Netflix for maximum avoidance success! 💁‍♂️ #HomebodyWinning"
5 months ago
Share →: Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Commentary:
🤣 "Oh sure, your crush is definitely going to leave their spouse for you, just like rainbows are made of cotton candy and unicorns pay taxes! 🌈🦄 That's how delusions work, my friend. Embrace the fantasy, but maybe keep a grip on reality too!" 😅
5 months ago
Share →: Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Commentary:
"Sending out some self-love vibes to my extra weight! 💌 Maybe if I show it some love, it'll decide to leave me for someone else. 🏃‍♂️💨 #weightlossgoals #selfloveproblems"
5 months ago
Share →: To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone took 'till death do us part' quite literally! 🎪🐒 Here lies a man who knew how to keep life wild and entertaining even after he's gone. May his wife juggle it all with grace and humor! 🤹‍♀️😂 #RelationshipGoals #MonkeyBusiness"
5 months ago
Share →: People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Commentary:
"Of course! Watching movies counts as professional development, right? 🎥💼 After all, who wouldn't want to further their 'cinematic expertise' in the name of work-life balance? 🤓 #MovieBuffBenefits"
5 months ago
Share →: People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Commentary:
"Join the 'We Never Want to Leave the House' club! 🏡 Let's stay united in our love for sofa-cuddling and Netflix marathons… separately. 😂 #HomebodiesUnite"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.
5 months ago
Share →: My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet sound of silence… 🤫 When a voicemail goes unclaimed, it's like a mysterious message from the void – truly a masterpiece of communication art! 🎨 Who needs words when you've got the powerful absence of them? 😂 #LostVoices"