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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Losing weight is basically all about being cold 90% of the time.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,568

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

Going bananas on Facebook:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Spotted on Facebook:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Trending via Telegram:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

21 Funny legal quotes

Funny legal quotes bring a hilarious twist to the serious world of law ⚖️😂 Whether you’re a lawyer, law student, or just love clever wordplay, these witty gems lighten up courtroom drama and legal jargon 📚✨ Get ready to chuckle at the quirks and ironies of justice, because sometimes the law isn’t just black and white—it’s downright funny! 😜⚡️

New funny legal quotes 👇

For even more funny legal quotes, hit next 👇

All funny legal quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

69 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

77 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

83 shares on X this month:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

89 shares on Discord this month:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

40 shares on Slack this month:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

77 shares on Threads this month:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Muting morons is good for your health.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,318

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Just shared via Twitch:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Just shared via Instagram:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Making waves on Threads:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

Trending via X:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Spotted on Instagram:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Just landed via Discord:

Maybe you should embark on a strange journey.

Just shared via Facebook:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

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