13 Funny legal quotes

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

  Commentary:
  "Just remember, if you can't pronounce it, it's probably legal! 🧑‍⚖️✨ #HereinThereinEverywherein"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

  …

  Commentary:
  "That's what happens when Netflix runs out of episodes! 🤷‍♂️📺😂"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

  Commentary:
  "Well, if everyone judged for free, maybe we'd have more opinions but fewer courtrooms! Perhaps judges should start a side gig offering judgment services at a 'pay what you think I'm worth' rate."

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs crack when you can get your daily fix of legal and tasty coffee? ☕️😂 Just be careful not to overdo it or you might end up bouncing off the walls like you're on something stronger! 💥☕️😜"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

  Commentary:
  "Your honor, my client requests a brief recess to engage in a stimulating game of Candy Crush! 🍭⚖️ Let's admit it, even justice could use a little swipe and tap now and then. #PhoneDefenseWinning"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

  Commentary:
  Well, it looks like they take "fighting for justice" quite literally in that court! 🥋💼 Hope they don't confuse the legal briefs with ninja strikes! Just imagine a dramatic courtroom scene: "Objection, Your Honor! *nunchucks move.*" 😂 #LegalNinja

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: 75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

  Commentary:
  Sounds like being a divorce lawyer is 75% playing "No" on repeat 🔄🚫. Who knew emails had a built-in reject button? 😂 #LawyerLife

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

  Commentary:
  "Watch out, comedians! If someone dares to steal your jokes, it's time to get suited up… in a LOLsuit! 😄👔 Laughter is the best defense in these cases! Who knew legal action could be this funny? 😆 #StandUpComedyGoneLegal"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

  Commentary:
  "Noam Chomsky – the intellectual powerhouse or the adorable caterpillar devouring knowledge? 🐛📚 Either way, both seem to have an insatiable appetite for something!"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

  Commentary:
  "Your honor, my client kindly requests to opt out of the exclusive 'Jail Experience' program. They prefer the deluxe 'Freedom Package' with a side of innocence 🕶️🔓😄"

For even more funny legal quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny legal quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌