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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,657

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Making waves on WeChat:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Just landed via Pinterest:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Seen just now on Twitch:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Shared recently on Telegram:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Just shared via Facebook:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

29 Funny loyalty quotes

Funny loyalty quotes bring a hilarious twist to the serious bond of trust and devotion 😂💖 Whether it’s about friends, pets, or those ride-or-die moments, these witty lines remind us loyalty isn’t just noble—it’s downright entertaining! 🐶🤪 Get ready to laugh and appreciate the quirky side of staying true, because sometimes loyalty deserves a good chuckle too! 🎉🔥

New funny loyalty quotes 👇

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

0

1 month ago

absolutely, anything, communication, except, excuse, friends, friendship, honesty, humor, i, just, know, loyalty, message, need, procrastination, reply, texting
What happened to the art of just liking one person?

0

2 months ago

affection, art, commitment, dating, just, liking, love, loyalty, person, relationship
I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

0

2 months ago

humor, idiot, loyal, loyalty, relationship, stage, talking, talking stage, type
Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

0

2 months ago

die, enough, goodnight, humor, know, loyalty, man, men, relationship, rest, sarcasm, woman
I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, answer, anything, communication, except, friends, friendship, humor, i, interaction, loyalty, message, messages, procrastination, social, social interaction, text, text message
Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

0

2 months ago

activity, attitude, even, friendship, fun, fun activity, hang, heart, humor, i, kindness, laugh, laughter, lot, loyalty, me, mess, positive, positive attitude, Spongebob
I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

0

2 months ago

friendship, friendship humor, friendship loyalty, going, good, humor, i, keep, loyalty, storage, Tupperware
Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

0

2 months ago

arms, baby, betrayal, disappointment, else, emotional, holding, humor, humor quote, loyalty, put, relationship, someone, trust
Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

0

2 months ago

Android, iPhone, loyalty, person, stubborn, switch, technology
I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

0

2 months ago

bodyguard, bullet, friendship, humor, love, loyalty, protection, sacrifice

For even more funny loyalty quotes, hit next 👇

All funny loyalty quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

95 shares on Threads this month:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

16 shares on Slack this month:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

40 shares on Threads this month:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,377

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Spotted on Twitch:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Just shared via Threads:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Trending via Snapchat:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Making waves on Facebook:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Going viral on Slack:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Making waves on Discord:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Live now on YouTube:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

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