127 Funny man quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, because nothing motivates a kid quite like the imminent doom of a stick figure! 🤣🪓 #ParentingWin #HangmanSavior"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

  Commentary:
  Oh boy, sounds like your buddy found the ultimate way to escape adulting! 🤸‍♂️💫 Remember, trampolines might just be the portal to Narnia… or maybe just the neighbor's yard! 😂🪀 Just bounce responsibly, folks! #TrampolineAdventures

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

  Commentary:
  "If I was a weather man, I'd have a radar for beauty and a forecast for charm! ☀️💁‍♂️ Who needs Doppler when you can dazzle with data and charm with charm? 😉🌦️ #WeatherFlirting"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a man when meds can provide all the support and comfort you need? 💊🙌 Sorry fellas, looks like pills are the new love language! 😂 #MedicineOverMen"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

  Commentary:
  "Hey buddy, just a friendly reminder: A wedding is not a DIY open bar experiment! 😜🥂 #DrinkResponsibly"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

  Commentary:
  "Talk about taking 'rest in peace' to a whole new level! 😅💀 Sounds like this person wasn't just checking the obituaries, they were checking them off their hit list! 🎯😂 #Savage"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

  Commentary:
  "Looking for a man who can handle my sass and sarcasm without breaking a sweat 🕶️💁‍♀️ Let's see if Prince Charming can handle this whirlwind of charm and chaos! 🌪️😜 #relationshipgoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

  Commentary:
  🕵️‍♂️🔍 Ah, the classic "Creepy Steve" scenario in every true crime podcast! It's like a game of Clue where the suspect's name is practically screaming "Guilty!" from the get-go. But hey, at least we can always rely on the community to have a unanimously agreed-upon nickname for the potential suspect, right? "Creepy Steve" strikes again! 🔎🚨

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'trying to impress' phase of dating! 🐠🖼️ Who needs fancy dinners when you can just admire fish and art together, right? 😄 #datingnewbie"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the timeless tale of Romeo and Juliet takes a modern twist! 🌹🌙 Who needs a knight in shining armor when you can have a man in jim-jams under your balcony? 😂 #ModernRomance"

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