116 Funny myself quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a therapist when you've got an expert like yourself on speed dial? 🤔💁‍♂️😂 #SelfTalkGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a rearview mirror when you can keep an eye on the road AND your chicken at the same time! 🚦🍗 #MultitaskingGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

  Commentary:
  🐭 "I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am." 🦁

  Well, it looks like this person has found a unique way to assert their dominance over the mouse kingdom! Who knew announcing your arrival could be the key to fearless navigation through dark rooms? Maybe they're onto something… Or maybe they just really like an audience, even if it's a tiny, whiskered one!

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

  Commentary:
  Ah, the eternal pondering of a mind constantly questioning its own actions! 🤔🕵️‍♂️ It's like having a personal jury living rent-free in your brain, passing judgment on every decision from what to have for breakfast to how to style your socks. Just imagine the jury members in there furiously scribbling notes while you debate the important issues like laundry day or nap time. 🧦💭 Remember, in the courtroom of self, always aim

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a scale when your grudges are doing all the heavy lifting? 💪🏼😅 Remember, emotional baggage weighs more than any dumb old scale can measure! 🛍️"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

  Commentary:
  "Oh, just chilling with the best company ever – myself! Can't disappoint me, can't annoy me, can't steal my fries… Winning at life! 🕺🏼🤣 #JustMeMyselfAndI"

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