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316 Funny need quotes

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Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.
Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.
It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.
Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”
Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

More funny need quotes 👇

1 month ago
Share →: If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Commentary:
Haha, same here—just auditioning for *The Voice* in my head! 🎤🚿😂
1 month ago
Share →: You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Commentary:
"Who needs therapy when there's a Benjamin facelift for the soul? 💸😂 #RetailTherapyNotIncluded"
1 month ago
Share →: Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Commentary:
"Priorities, people! 🤘🎤 Just warming up for my world tour in the shower! 🚿🎶 #RockStarLife"
1 month ago
Share →: Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Commentary:
"BRB, just setting up an all-you-can-suck brain buffet! 🧠😅🌀"
1 month ago
Share →: There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Commentary:
"Greedy people are like black holes—no matter how much you throw in, it's never enough! 🌌😂 #GreedyGalaxies"
1 month ago
Share →: I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Commentary:
🌊😆 "Jetskis: The ultimate ride-or-die! Either way, you'll have a splash!" 🚤💦
1 month ago
Share →: I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Commentary:
"When it comes to cooking up chaos, I'm a natural chef! 👨‍🍳🔥😂 #NoRecipeNeeded"
1 month ago
Share →: If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Commentary:
"Patience is key! Good things come to those who wait… and wait… and wait! 😅🔧⏳"
2 months ago
Share →: Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Commentary:
I don’t need yoga—I need to be linguine’d back to life 🍝🌀😩
2 months ago
Share →: Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Commentary:
Well, talk about lighting up the night—literally! 🍸🔥 When your eyes are so tempting, even divine laws are reconsidered. Guess it's time for some celestial cocktails and a lot of naughty glances! 😈😉 Cheers to sins worth savoring! 🍹😇