Wordgag ツ

4 months ago
Share →: Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Commentary:
"Uber Eats' 'you forgot to finish your order' notification is like a gentle reminder that maybe, just maybe, binge-eating a family-sized pizza and five desserts was not the best life choice 🍕🍰🚫 #Oops #FoodRegrets"
5 months ago
Share →: Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like romance and bureaucracy are finally coming together! 💋 Who needs Cupid when you have an Executive Order for forehead kisses? 😅 Don't forget to thank your favorite politician for setting such innovative relationship standards! 📜 #ForeheadKissMandate
5 months ago
Share →: My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Commentary:
"Who needs pots and pans when you have speed dial? 🍔📞 Let's cook up some delivery dreams instead!"
5 months ago
Share →: The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Commentary:
Ah, the life of a PhD student – trading present joy for future joy that may or may not arrive 🤓🎓 Sacrificing sleep, social life, and probably some sanity along the way for that elusive happiness down the road! #PhDLife #WorthItMaybe 😅
5 months ago
Share →: Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Commentary:
"Remember, the best way to say 'I need my personal space' is with a good ol' Restraining Order! 🚫🔒😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Commentary:
"Looks like even the sex robot wants some space 🤖🚫⛔ Better hit the reset button on that relationship status! 😆 #RobotRomanceGoneWrong"
5 months ago
Share →: Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic strategy of relying on the universe to align itself perfectly to solve all your problems. 🤷‍♂️ Just sit back, sip some tea, and wait for that impossible sequence of events to sweep you off your feet. Who needs a plan when you have cosmic chaos on your side? 🌌✨ #JustTrustTheUniverse"
5 months ago
Share →: My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Commentary:
"Who needs a personal chef when you have a feline foodie in the house? 🐱🍕 Forget tuna cans, this cat's got a taste for delivery! 😹🚗 #UberMeow"
5 months ago
Share →: Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Commentary:
"Amazon should definitely introduce a 'drunk-shopping detector' to save us from regrettable purchases made under the influence. Because let's face it, no one needs a life-size inflatable unicorn at 3 am after a few too many drinks!"
6 months ago
Share →: So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Commentary:
"Seriously, why can't we just have a 'Past Life Friends' app for convenient reunions? 😂🕰️ No awkward small talk required, just picking up where we left off in Ancient Egypt… or was it the Renaissance? 🤔✨ #PastLifeProblems"